The special bond between you two cannot be replaced and the silence inside your house may be overwhelming, as your beloved friend used to fill the void.
But, as it takes time to bond and get used to a life together, it takes time to learn how to live without it.
Grieving as a Process
In the first days after the loss of your loving animal, it’s normal to go through a carousel of emotions. You may feel alright until painful feelings reappear. You may feel angry, helpless, lost, or even disappointed.
This is the first stage of grieving. Your brain is responsible for these changes. Grief can alter behavior, as well as memory.
Some processes happen inside the brain to cope with loss; it rewires itself to turn to basic functions. This is called neuroplasticity.
The decision-making prefrontal cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex, responsible for emotion regulation, become inactive. The limbic system, responsible for emotions and survival, takes over, with its amygdala, which controls fear, causing this “fight or flight” response.
Hormones take over the body as well. Stress hormones, among other hormones, start taking over, which can result in hemodynamic changes. Research has shown that prolonged grief can lead to cardiovascular disease.
These are the reasons you will have mixed feelings during the grieving period for your beloved pet.
How To Better Cope With Loss
There is no secret recipe that works for all. The most important aspect is to embrace your grief and try moving on as much as you can. There are a few steps you can take to ease this process.
1. Do whatever makes you feel good
Express your feelings as much as you can. Feel the urge to cry? Do you want to build a shrine with photos and personal items for your pet, to help you remember it as it was? Hide away all these if you rather feel worse when seeing images and things that belonged to your pet.
Accept your friends and family’s support. Talking to somebody will do you good. But, it’s perfectly fine if you’d rather spend time alone.
Engage in activities that make you happy and distract yourself from dark thoughts.
If you think adopting a new animal will be better for you, go ahead. Offering a home for a distressed cat or dog is always a big fulfillment and may fill the void and allow you to focus on something else.
2. Give yourself time to grieve and accept
The grieving period lasts differently from one person to another. It’s best not to force yourself to do things you don’t want to.
Most of the pain will reappear when you remember the routine you and your pet used to have together. Remembering the good moments you had together may be helpful.
3. Work your feelings around it
While grieving, you may experience all sorts of emotional states. All are perfectly normal and you need to be aware of these changes you are going through.
Don’t punish and be patient with yourself. You may find yourself more tired, or more anxious and nervous. Daily tasks may seem impossible to accomplish.
Take little steps in fulfilling them or just postpone. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Always Keep in Mind
Grieving is normal and you should give yourself time to go through this process.
The memories of your beloved pet will always be with you; no other animal will ever replace it.
